A Little Get-A-Way!

Well the New Year is almost here and my wife and I are getting out of town for a few days. We are really looking forward to some much needed relaxation. So many people have told us that relaxation is the key to getting pregnant, which is weird because I always thought it was sex. The trip should be great...my wife's crazy Clomid episodes are starting to mellow out! When we return it will be a new year and we look forward to many great things in 2007. One of these great things better be a baby damn it! Anyways, I hope you all have a Happy New Year.

Acupuncture to Wheat Germ Oil for Infertility

Since the Clomid hasn't resulted in much success yet, we are now starting to get a lot of recommendations for some holistic approaches to getting pregnant. We are starting to consider a few of these methods. The first is Acupuncture. I am a bit concerned about this because my wife faints when she gets her blood drawn, so I don't know that making her a human pin cushion is a great idea. We got a referral to go to Dr. Ding...now you know you are dealing with a pro with a name like Dr. Ding. The second method recommended was to take Wheat Germ Oil. Apparently polygamous women (who tend have tons of kids) take this supplement and get pregnant left and right. So, now with this new found information on the more natural approaches to getting pregnant, I have decided to research them further to see what might be best for my wife and me. The following links provide some more info to any of you who might also be interested.

Natural Approaches to Infertility
Holistic Approach to Infertility
Acupuncture and Infertility

Happy Holidays

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. The Holidays have been pretty busy. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/etc. I will be posting again shortly. Thanks for reading!

I hate periods, period!

So the period started, dang it, yet another month goes by and my wife isn't pregnant. I used to dread when she had "that time of the month" because of the PMS that came along with it. I must also add that the late night trips to the grocery store to pick up Tampons and ice cream aren't all that fun either. Now, however, I dread "that time of the month" because with each period it just means that there is no baby! It also means another month of Clomid, which is kind of like PMS on steroids, and yet another trip to the grocery store. This leads me to conclude that there is absolutely nothing good about periods. Men hate them, women hate them, in fact I think the only two people who love periods are the CEO's of Midol and Tampax.

Chances of getting pregnant

I am now convinced that the chances of getting pregnant when you really want to are not that high. It's as if your bodies know that you are trying so they decide to mess with you for a while. All too often you hear about people who get pregnant when they don't want to be pregnant. What the hell is up with that? It just so happens that my scientific observations are that the chances of conceiving a child are at least 70-95% higher if you are drunk, 15 years old, or having a one-night stand. Life has it's mysteries and that just happens to be one of them.

We are all girls for a while...aren't we?

I had heard stories that all babies start in the womb as females and then after 8 weeks they either stay female or grow a penis (thus becoming a male...if you hadn't already figured that out). I was happy to find out that this isn't entirely the case because it just seems weird to think that for a while I was a chick. The reality of it is, that the sex is determined immediately when the sperm fertilizes the egg, the baby is either XY (male) or XX (female). There is, however, a period of about 6 weeks where the sex organs are neither male nor female, they are just non-specific. After thinking about all of this, I figured that all babies are really girls for a while anyway. You see, even if you are a boy, there was the period of the first few years of your life when your mother dressed you in all sorts of "cute little outfits" and pranced you around showing you off to everyone. The moms try to play this off by picking out these so-called baby boy colors like blues and greens. But if you think about it, they are really rather sissy because they are light blues and greens. To top it all off there is usually some picture of a clown, giraffe, elephant, or some other "precious little creature." So you see, we are all a bit girly for the first little while. It is just reassuring to know that our sex organs aren't non-specific for too long!!

Some crazy and amazing pregnancy facts

So, seeing as how I spend a lot of time looking into stuff about babies and pregnancy, I became interested to know some of the crazy pregnancy world records that have occurred. So here are a few things I came across on the Internet. Now I must note that I searched for documented information, but it was hard to find for all of these, so if you don't believe it, look it up for yourself.

1. The youngest mother ever was a five year old girl in Peru named Lina Medina, who gave birth to a baby boy by C-section in May of 1939. You can read more about it and see pics here.

2. As far as the youngest father goes, I can only find sites that state that in 1910 in China a boy and a girl who were 8 and 9 years old were the world's youngest parents. I can't find any documentation of this fact though.

3. The biggest baby ever born, according to the The Guinness Book of World Records, weighed 23.12lb (10.8kg) and died 11 hours after birth. The baby was born to Anna Bates of Canada in 1879.

4.The smallest baby ever born that survived is Rumaisa Shaik. She weighed only 8.6 oz and was only 10 inches long. She was born on Sept. 19, 2004. You can read more and see pics here.

5. A Russian woman who was known only as "the wife of Feodor Vassilyev" from the village of Shuya, gave birth to 69 children in the 18th century during 27 pregnancies. The matriarch produced 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four quadruplets. Some people say this is in the Guinness Book of World Records and others disagree, so I am not sure.

6. In 1998 the Chukwu octuplets were born in Houston. Unfortunately the smallest one died a week after birth. In 1997 the McCaughey septuplets were born and were the first surviving set of septuplets.

Never ask a woman if she is pregnant, unless you are 100% sure!

There are a lot of things you learn in life. Sometimes you learn by mistake and sometimes you learn from other people's mistakes. Luckily for me, I have never been the one making this crucial mistake, you know, the one where you asks a woman if she is pregnant and she isn't. There is nothing more awkward than being in this situation. The result, is now you have a woman who is thinking she is fat and even worse, she is thinking of how she wants to kill you. I mean talk about giving a person a complex. This poor woman will be stressed for weeks and will go around telling everyone about the prick that had the nerve to ask her if she is pregnant. The simple lesson one must learn is that all you have to do is wait until the woman herself, brings up the fact that she is pregnant. Remember you can never be too sure. I could be standing next to a woman who is nine months along and ready to pop, and all of the sudden her water breaks, and I am still not going to say anything about her being pregnant until she sparks up the topic. So unless you want to be fiercly kicked in the nuts or put on some lady's hit list, I suggest you take my simple advice.

Dear Santa

Shopping For The Baby We Don't Even Have Yet

What is with you women and shopping for babies? You girls go crazy...it is as if there is a chemical in your brain that triggers when you see those little outfits and you go into a trance that can't be broken. Even more strange than that are the women, like my wife, that shop for baby stuff and don't even have a child yet! It completely baffles me! We can't go to a mall anymore without stopping in some baby store to look at the clothes my wife wants to buy for our unborn child. That is when I turn into the "bad guy" because I won't let her buy anything. In reality we men are just doing you women a favor. You see I am the one that realizes that if we buy these clothes now, then by the time the child actually comes they will be out of style and my wife will refuse to put outdated clothes on our new baby. I think men around the world need to retaliate and start going to pet stores to buy collars and leashes for the dogs that we don't own or maybe start shopping for accessories for the motorcylces we don't/can't have.

Every Other Day

Some of my buddies have given me a hard time about trying to have a baby. But the other day I found the ultimate response to anything they bring at me. I simply explain to them that I get to have sex every other day. Not one of them has had a comeback to that and often I can see them thinking...hmmmm, sex every other day huh? maybe a baby wouldn't be so bad after all! I just know one of them is going to talk their wife into trying, thinking they will get to have sex every other day, but then they will get pregnant on their first try and then it will be sex every other month....if that! hahahahahahaha