Blowout Diapers

The force at which poop comes out of a baby's bum has to be equivalent to hurricane winds. That is the only possible way to explain how the poop can possibly travel all the way up the baby's back and sometimes even onto his head! I had always heard about these so called "Blowouts" and for the first few month our little guy would maybe have a little poo come out the top of the diaper every now and then, but that was it. I figured that those were it and I didn't understand what the big fuss was about. Then, I experienced what I like to call a "Massive Blowout!!" It was unlike anything I had seen before, it was as if the poo had actually come out of the middle of his back somewhere. When a Massive Blowout occurs, I often wonder what purpose the diaper even had because it sure as hell didn't catch any of the poop. These often occur around 3 in the morning and I sometimes wonder if Ashton Kutcher snuck in and removed the diaper and then after the poo he snuck it back on and after I come in and realize that poo is everywhere Ashton will jump out of the closet and yell, "You just got Punked!" To top it all off, the poo stains everything it touches. The mustardy green color is so appealing!! We have a nice collection of poo tainted baby clothes. So if anyone has the secret formula to remove these stains, we would much appreciate it.