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Sunday, November 26, 2006

What? The Wrong Sterile Cup????

After all the misery I went through to obtain a sterile cup for my semen analysis, it just so happens I got the wrong sterile cup. Apparently I was supposed to get a specific cup that had a laboratory form and instructions attached to it. So I am now pissed at the nurse that I thought was so great for not saying anything to me when she gave me the cup. So this time around I did the logical thing and sent my wife to pick it up. When my wife brought it home I decided to look at the instructions...which I thought at first were ridiculous because it seems pretty self explanatory, but there are some specific rules. First, you can't have sex for three days before the collection. Normally this probably wouldn't be so bad, but with the strict "trying for a baby" regiment we have been on, three days feels like a decade. Second, after you collect the specimen you must deliver it to the lab within 90 minutes and it must not get too hot or too cold. It is recommended that you keep it in a pocket close to your body. A pocket?...with all the up to date medical technology they have you would think they could give me a container to keep it in that helps maintain a constant temperature, but no, just put it in a pocket, that will do. I keep thinking to myself, what if I forget which pocket I put it in and I can't find it when I get to the lab. Then a month later when I go to the airport to get on a plane and the security person tells me to empty my pockets, all of the sudden I pull out a cup full of semen and say, "So that is where I put it!" Talk about an uncomfortable situation!!

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